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Romantic isn’t something you do for someone.
It’s the person you become.
The romantic way consists of what I call, the romantic character. Character here referring to a set of personality and behavioral characteristics which culminate in the development of a particular character: a personality or a type of person. In this case a romantic personality type. Once your whole being is romantic, it’s easy to “be romantic”. Until then your romantic gestures will just be simple, shallow, superficial and short lived. Not to mention expensive since they’ll likely involve gift giving.
The most valuable romantic gestures have nothing to do with giving gifts: they don’t have to cost you a dime. They come in the way you are with the other person and in how you make them feel. Those are the most powerful romantic “gifts”. And once you’re romantic in your person, these “gifts” will come naturally to you, involving little effort – they’ll be natural.
As a man, that’s where you want to be: romantic without exerting excessive efforts or too much money.
As I described it in “What is romance culture?” this culture is effectively comprised of Christianized Roman culture. Since both Christianity and Roman culture were inclined to self-improvement, then the romantic way is also about improvement of the self in order to improve one’s relationships. Hence, the romantic way is about hard work in order to achieve something great.
By the 18th century, liberalism would arise in opposition to the Church and its culture of exercising honest means to achieve one’s goals (this as evidenced by the liberal’s long list of moral trespasses which they’re now paying for): to methods like cheating, stealing and faking to achieve your goals. These methods becoming inculcated particularly into American culture resulting in its fake it till you make it philosophy for success.
Today we continue to have the two options: to work hard and achieve something in real terms or to take the lazy route and merely create the illusion of achievement. Today you can become truly romantic, or you can pretend to be the romantic guy. You can create real confidence through growing in your maturity or you can create the mere image of being confident through special gestures or mental tricks.
The only trouble with being a fraud is that the fraud is eventually found out. Like the liberals, he’s eventually left to pay the price for his deceit. In a tough spot, the fake cracks under the pressure. Tips and tricks may work in solving one dating or confidence problem, but they’ll fail to solve the 100 other similar problems that await a solution.
By improving yourself in real terms and in a holistic sense, you develop greater independence and thus the ability to solve your own problems as these inevitably come along in the future. The purpose of a culture is to teach you the fundamental knowledge and skills to achieve precisely this kind of independence.
In a survey of the world’s women, men of romance cultures like Spain, Italy, Brazil were rated in the top 5 of most favorite kinds of men. Women love the men of these countries and not because of they have money, given what dire straits these economies are in, and not because of their muscular physiques, but instead because of how these men make women feel.
Men are themselves familiar with this factor give how they also value women for how they make them feel. Colombian women are a great example here given how they are rated first in attractiveness despite the fact that there are more beautiful women in other parts of the world. The difference is in the personality of Colombian women; it is their uniquely feminine personality that is attractive and that makes men feel a particular way. So, men and women are ultimately the same in this regard.
Ultimately, it is business interests and their marketing machine created to promote consumption and economic productivity, that is what leads people to believe that a great physique and money are important factors in attractiveness. As we can see here, though, the evidence contradicts this claim.
The good thing here, is that if it’s just a matter of personality and ways, then being attractiveness is something that becomes accessible to anyone regardless of their material conditions. It just takes learning what underlies those attractive – essentially romantic – behaviors in order to adopt those same foundations so that one will organically yield the same behaviors and become equally romantic and attractive to others. Of course, this takes a bit of work and flexibility on your part; however, once this character is achieved it’s permanent, providing a reliable solution to the problem.
With romance coaching you’ll learn more than just tips and tricks for impressing the ladies. Instead, you’ll become the kind of man women will admire, desire and respect.
Get coaching based on a tried and proven cultural tradition: the romance culture. The culture that created romantic love.
Get a free initial consultation to see if romance coaching is right for you.