TheRomanticWay

Last weekend Holly and I toured studio after studio on the annual Studio Art Tour in our county. It was a thousand times better than a gallery tour because we visited our artist friends in their studios, homes, yards, basements, garden sheds, garages and old school houses. We hung with our companions where they lived and worked. We saw them where their soul resides. I recognized that how and who you hang with has a powerful impact on how successful you are in your creative pursuits. Here’s how you can align your relationships, friendships and family so that they feed your artist rather than choke it.

“Tell me what company you keep
and I’ll tell you what you are.”
—Miguel de Cervantes

When I was just a young pup struggling to find my way through my post-high school education, I sat at the dinner table brainstorming with my parents about my future. I told them that I was transferring to a college in North Dakota and I had a dream of becoming a writer. I nearly choked on my meatloaf and mixed vegetables to get a response in unison, “You can’t write!”

It’s like handing a clutz an ancient crystal goblet. You just don’t do it.

Obviously not a good way to launch a career. Another guy might be able to dismiss the remark like dew on summer daisy, but unfortunately I couldn’t do it. I was stuck with those words rattling around in my brain for years. What was my mistake? I entrusted the wrong people with a part of me — a dream — who lacked the ability to handle it well. It’s like handing a clutz an ancient crystal goblet. You just don’t do it.

A few years ago, I was visiting in the Moscow apartment of some very close friends and found myself relating the story of the crash of my writing career before it started. I told them that I’d actually written quite a bit over the years and even liked some of the stuff I’d done, but my confidence crumbles because I believed what I heard.

These were the right folks to talk with. They shared their own struggles with creative outlet, confidence and believing in yourself. They lent me a book by Julia Cameron called The Right to Write. It became nearly a devotional to Holly and me as I went through the book doing the exercises and learning to culture a “writerly” life.

Here are Four Tips to Align Your Relationships with your Creative World

• Join only those artist guilds or clubs which foster a creative community, improve self-image and develop skills. Avoid busy-work organizations whose only intent is to occupy your time.
• Spend regular time with creative friends and colleagues who have a positive outlook and encourage you as well as enjoy your encouragement. Limit time with those who are negative, needy and sap your creative energy.
• Only collaborate with artists who have a history of actually producing. Their great ideas may mean you do all the work while they get the credit.
• Find those with whom you will have honest critique sessions both of their work and your own. Leave the critiquing to those who really know how to critique. Don’t put your work before people who really know nothing about it. Their comments can be more damaging than you know.

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